SUSAN SWARTZ 8-18-2011

The working mother who squats in the field, gives birth, bundles
the baby to her breast and goes back to the job might envy the
high-tech working mother who enjoys such luxuries as a portable
hands-free electric breast pump. Perfect for the career woman’s
busy lifestyle, it allows her to pump while on her computer,
putting on makeup, blow drying her hair, making dinner and doing
laundry. There is also a car adaptor in case the pump battery dies
while on the road.
Oh, the wonders of modern maternity I thought while sitting in a
circle of professional women at a baby shower in Austin for my
daughter, a full time writer and first time expectant mother
seeking advice from her more experienced multi-tasking peers.
That’s where I first heard of the no-hands pump from a mother of
twins who employs it during conference calls and dashing by cab
across Manhattan to a meeting.
There were no games, as decreed by the mom-to-be, no women
squeezing clothespins between their knees and dropping them in milk
bottles. No spinning pencils on a string across the belly to
determine the baby’s gender. Of course today’s expectant couples
can find out if they’re having a boy or girl. What’s top secret, I
learned, is the name. It is not okay to share potential names and
even grandparents-in-waiting will not know until the baby pops out
and the parents rip open the envelope and declare, “And the winner
is Ezekiel.”
For parents not wanting to burden their child with a common name
there are websites that track the most popular baby names. So far,
for 2011, the top four baby boy names are Jacob, Ethan, Michael and
Jayden, just in case you wondered.
In the early 1970s when I gave birth we had to wait until the
last push and the nurse to proclaim “it’s a girl.” But we started
blabbing name choices as soon as we found out we were pregnant.
Styles change in the world of babies. When I was a working
mother I didn’t have a breast pump that you could charge with your
car battery. That didn’t matter because I didn’t nurse. Breast
feeding was an alternative but not as routinely expected as it is
today. Natural childbirth – the panting, breathing, husband
coaching, no drugs style – was newly in favor and that’s as earthy
as I got. My pregnant daughter just now realized that she was a
bottle baby. Poor kid thought I was an all-organic mom.
Today there are many choices for the new mother – home versus
hospital birth, midwives versus doulas. And so much new gadgetry.
Among her shower loot was a diaper bag with special compartment for
iPod and smart phone. And a stylish nursing cover to layer between
her and the public while feeding baby, which everyone in the room
but me seemed to know as a hooter-hider.
Did I mention that while she was having a shower so was the
expectant dad although his involved miniature golf and beer and
high hopes for his own diaper bag.
The expectant mom received lots of advice. Someone told her
about an iPhone app that will tell her which breast the baby last
fed from. Two mothers promoted the idea of a night nanny to come in
for occasional night duty to relieve sleep deprived parents.
Another mother offered the name of a professional baby sleep
consultant.
But the best advice she got is not much different from what
mothers of every generation have told each other. Enjoy it all.
Don’t panic. Trust your instincts. Babies don’t break very easily.
Take a nap when the baby sleeps. Meditate when the baby sleeps.
Slip off for a 30 minute hot bath at the end of the day.
I liked this one, too. Scout out the restaurants and stores
which have diaper changing tables in the men’s room so daddy can
share in that chore.
And oh yes, buy wine in bulk.
Susan Swartz is a local author and journalist. You can also
read her at www.juicytomatoes.com and hear her Another Voice
commentary on KRCB-FM radio on Fridays. Email is
su***@ju***********.com