The recent extreme cold weather has had one lovely result for me: I have reprised my role as the Joke Lady at Mattie Washburn School! Well, okay, for two classes …
When you tell kindergarteners jokes, there are a few reactions. One set of kids gets the joke immediately. They have been exposed to jokes, or are more mature linguistically and can play with language. Another set takes in the answer and processes it, and then the “get it” dawns over them like daybreak. A third set is consumed with answering the question correctly. And a fourth set hasn’t heard a word of your joke, because they are desperately trying to come up with their own joke. I love them all.
Here are a few of my jokes, and a couple of the above reactions.
“What is the first thing that Santa’s helpers learn when they get to school?” Hands go up. The Correct Answer Group tries a few possibilities: “Wrapping presents?” “How to make toys?” I smile and shake my head, and tell them, “The ELF-abet!” I laugh uproariously to indicate that’s the joke answer, just in case. Three kids burst out laughing. Two more blink a few times, and then smile. The Correct Answer kids lower their hands, and segue into the Process It group or just nod at the Crazy Joke Lady.
Next joke: “What did one snowman say to the other snowman?” (Correct Answer Group: “I am a snowman?” “Where is the North Pole?”) Joke answer: *sniff, sniff* “Do you smell carrots?” (A picture of a carrot-nosed snowman helps that joke.)
“Where does a snowman keep his money?” (“In his pocket?”) I wait a beat, and say, “In a snowbank.” Bwhahaha! (Snow jokes are tricky here in Sonoma County, but what’s a Joke Lady gonna do?)
Knock-knock jokes are particularly funny. The Get It group is hip to the format, and chimes in immediately with the standard, “Who’s there?” They lead the charge in setting up the joke for the other three groups.
My knock knock joke went like this: “Knock-knock!” (Who’s there?) “Murray!” (Murray Who?) “Murray Christmas!” Then I brace myself, because there will be a handful of random knock-knock jokes from the group of kids who just want to be in on the joke-telling, regardless of the fact that they don’t have a joke.
Example: Kiddo: “Knock-knock!” Me: “Who’s there?” Kiddo: long pause, eyes darting around urgently … “Scarf!” Scarf-clad me: “Scarf Who?” Kiddo: “Scarf on your neck!” (This particular child then followed up with a reprise of my “what did the snowman say” joke with, “What did the scarf say to the other scarf?” Me: “I don’t know, what?” Pause … “Don’t hit my head!” Ba-da-boom)
After the kids got the idea that jokes are funny, I had a few tell me some that they knew. One little boy said, “I have a joke! Pete and Repeat went into a store. Pete came out. Who was left?” I gave him the answer in perfect seriousness, like I was waiting for the joke: “Repeat.”
The look on his face was priceless; you can’t bottle the sheer joy of “getting” an adult with a joke. He composed himself (barely) and said, “Pete and Repeat went into a store. Pete came out. Who was left?” I played along: “Repeat.” He’s now bouncing with glee … “Pete and Repeat went into a store …”
Some more of my gems: “Why is it always cold at Christmas?” (C.A.G.: “Because it’s Christmas?”) Answer: “Because it’s in Decemberrrrrr!” (Most get that one, because I do an exaggerated shiver on the punchline.) “What do you call a snowman in the summer?” Answer: “A puddle!” “What do you call a penguin in the desert?” Answer: “Lossst!!”
A riddle, just to shake it up: “How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?” (C.A.G.: “17?” “100!” “A million!”) Answer: “One, because then it’s not empty anymore!” That one causes the biggest pause, as they wrap their minds around the answer. You can actually see the sack in their minds, and Santa putting a present in … one by one, they light up … and now I have fans for life.
Juliana LeRoy wears many hats, including wife, mother, paraeducator and writer. She can be spotted around Windsor gathering material, or reached at ml****@so***.net.
