We were at the coast. My favorite place to chill, to blank my brain and escape the busy, hectic life we all lead. As is the case with older men (meaning me) mother nature called; actually at my age she seems to have me on speed dial.
I opted to climb up into the dunes. I get there and I see a small windswept tree bent way over. Under its branches looked like a nice little protected area. I started to go down into it when I noticed a large garbage can. Wow, this weirded me out. My first thought was that I was intruding on some homeless person’s cave. I felt terrible. I looked all around and didn’t see any signs of anyone or anything except the garbage can. It was half full but I didn’t inspect it. It could have been garbage or someone’s possessions. I didn’t go down into the little space. I turned and hurried back to the coast.
As I sat there in front of the water I analyzed the situation. Why was I weirded out, what was I afraid of, was it even fear? What I knew for sure was that I did not want to get involved. If it was a homeless person’s spot I didn’t want to deal with them and I definitely didn’t want any type of confrontation.
I felt guilty and selfish. I am not against helping the homeless. I grew up urban, ethnic and working class in a tough neighborhood. I am no stranger to confrontation. So, what was it? I just didn’t want to be involved in anybody’s business. I went to the coast to escape, not to comfort or confront. The few hours of blank time at the ocean is so essential to my well-being, I did not want anything to ruin it.
All of this made me realize how little time we give ourselves. We all seem so busy, with so many important things that need to be done.
I’ve seen several articles lately about not planning every moment of your child’s existence. I saw one article that said it’s OK for kids to be bored. These articles addressed the idea that children, and by extension people in general, need down time. We need to have moments in our day where we are not obligated to be doing something or going somewhere.
When I was a young man my father, in his late 40s, decided he wanted to go to college. He often would come to me looking for suggestions on papers he had to write. I would give him a whole host of ideas. I remember him asking, “How do you come up with all these great ideas?” My father was the type of person who was busy every waking moment of his life. I explained to him that in order to have ideas you have to allow yourself the time to create them. If you allow your brain some free-flow time, it always brings positive results, at least for me.
Those who meditate regularly are better balanced. Those who can occasionally shut out the world feel recharged, energized. It is something we all need to do, and we need to do it more often.
If every day I made better space for myself, just took a few moments to pause, then perhaps going to the ocean wouldn’t be so essential. And, maybe seeing a garbage can in the middle of nowhere would not have weirded me out so much.
Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 45 years. He can be reached at www.gabrielfraire.com.
