I can use a diversion. How about some Halloween stories?
With six kids and a mother with a sweet tooth, we had a family-wide collection system plan on Halloween. As soon as the sun set we’d each head off in different directions. Living in a big city, we had lots of houses and in the 1950s there was little fear of getting tainted fruit. Besides, with candy as an option no one was going to eat any fruit.
As soon as our bag got heavy we’d run home, race into the house and dump the whole bag on the kitchen table. If a sibling was there we’d exchange information on which houses gave the best stuff. Then we’d head back out.
My mom would sit at the table and sort the candy. The ones she knew we liked she’d set aside and the ones no one would eat would be redistributed to kids coming to the door. I thought it was a good plan.
It never occurred to me that anyone disliked Halloween. Then the other day, I was listening to a woman who said she hates Halloween. I asked why and she said, it is nothing but a greedy, candy grab. I thought back to my childhood and changed the subject.
I never participated in Halloween past elementary school; no high school, college or adult Halloween parties, Halloween was over, until I had children.
Halloween with children was mostly fun. I didn’t like that walking door to door. One time I was waiting at the sidewalk as my kids ran to the door and another parent ended up next to me. She started telling all about her childhood Halloween costumes. Then she turned to me and said, “As a kid what were you for Halloween? Zorro or Tonto or maybe Pancho Villa, with a big sombrero?” She was serious. I was stunned. I kept trying to hold back my wicked tongue. Finally I just pushed out the words, “What is your daughter this year?”
“Oh my daughter is this gorgeous model, or Hollywood starlet, I’m not sure she just wanted me to dress her all pretty and fancy.” Just then the little girl came walking up. She was dolled-up with makeup and her hair styled. I smiled and asked her, “So, what are you for Halloween?” Without skipping a beat the little girl said, “I’m a hooker.”
One Halloween the neighbor came by with his son. This man was very strict, almost abusive. He told his kids what to do and when to do it. I heard him telling my dad, “My kids only eat candy when I say they can.”
We were standing near the table of candy my mom was sorting. Every time the man turned his back his son would grab a candy bar off the table and stuff it in his mouth. The kid was slick and quick, almost like he had done this many times before. The man kept bragging. “Your kids are too independent. My son does what I say because he loves me.”
The kid stuffed another candy bar into his mouth. Then, showing off, he stuffed two in his mouth at once. They got caught, he gagged. His father turned around to see his son with two candy bars stuck in his mouth. Just as the man was about to berate the son, the boy did a projectile vomit that spewed all over the place.
Hey, I’m not making fun of this kid, I had to clean up the mess. Happy Halloween, have fun, don’t eat too much candy.
Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 45 years. He can be reached through his website at: www.gabrielfraire.com.
