Off the Top of My Head

Tourist in town
Anyone who has lived in Sonoma County for a while has seen it change from an agricultural-based collection of small towns into a tourist mecca.
Many dislike it. Some hate it. They hate seeing their little hometown America turn into a worldwide destination with designer shops and gourmet restaurants.
Woe is me, I live in one of most beautiful places in the world, that has great climate, a terrific coastline, fine wine, micro brews and a great art scene including live theater and open mic salons. Life is tough.
There is no turning back, folks. No matter how much you might want it. Griping about the change does no good.
I don’t mind the change. I learned a lesson from my young cousin. When she was in middle school she and her friends used to dress up in what they called “trashy” outfits. They would go downtown and walk behind tourists making up stories about their “baby’s daddy” or how much “crack” they made that week – silly, stupid, off the wall stuff. It was their way of dealing with all the rich people who crowded the town that used to be theirs.
It gave me an idea. Why not do the same … well not the same. I wasn’t going to dress up like a hooker and pretend I was trash. But I would do the same in the sense of having some fun with the change.
My current favorite game is to find a beautiful expensive car, like a Maserati or a classic Corvette. I will stand near it until I see some tourist coming then I’ll yell out to a wife who isn’t really there (but I’m acting like she is up the street or in a store), “Honey, do you think the car is safe here?”
Another game, I call the name game, is walking alongside some tourist and talking in low tones to my wife about totally made up stuff. “Did you hear Madonna is here? It’s all hush-hush. She flew into that private airport at the edge of town.” Or, something equally silly, “Did you get your hometown discount card? Merchants are giving discount cards for those of us who live here.”
I know it’s silly, but it helps me cope with no parking spaces and longs lines at the bakery, neither of which existed before tourism.
Another mind game I love is “Pretend Crossover.” When I was little and stuck out in right field of a ballgame I’d stare up at the sky and I’d see a plane overhead. Then I would pretend I was in that plane wishing I was down on the ground playing baseball with the kids and bang, there I was playing baseball with the kids.
Now, I do something similar. I will say to the wife, “What say we take a little trip? Let’s fly to wine country for the weekend.” I pretend we live somewhere else and bang. Now, I am in wine country enjoying the views and restaurants and wineries.
This is a particularly fun game for me because if we were really to go on a vacation to some great destination spot, like the wine country, it would cost thousands, involve the horrible experience of tiny airplane seats, jet lag, and the uncomfortable feeling of not sleeping in my own bed. The “Pretend Crossover” way, I get the advantage of a great destination location vacation with all the comforts of home.
Change is inevitable. I try to be grateful we live in an area others admire. And I try not to be so greedy as to be unwilling to share. I try.
Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 40 years. He is also the current Healdsburg Literary Laureate. He can be reached through his website at: www.gabrielfraire.com