By Christian Kallen
As the sky darkened over the Healdsburg Plaza on Sunday night, a large crowd gathered with candles and children, but its purpose was unclear. “May I ask, if I can, what is the purpose of this gathering?” asked a couple visiting from elsewhere in the state.
“A much-loved member of the community died a few days ago,” seemed insufficient. It couldn’t quite capture the spirit or impact of Jennifer Utsch, who died early Wednesday morning, Feb. 19, in hospice care in Tucson. There were no photos of her at the Plaza, no signs or mementos, just the words spoken or sung by the 75 or so people who showed up on short notice to remember Jendala.
“The amazing Jendala took her last breath in this world at 1:31 a.m. this morning,” reported Heartizens on Wednesday morning. “You are a force and will live on in the hearts of so many. Thank you for all the joy you brought to this world for all of us still here, I know we will continue to keep Jen’s light alive. Tonight, take some time to look to the stars and we might just see her dancing with the moon.”
Spontaneous tributes and appreciation flooded social media. “I will always remember your kindness and that radiant smile,” posted Michelle Schultz. “I will be ready soon to celebrate you, but for now, I rest and recuperate and look to the skies for the brightest star.”
Janet Ciel of the Healdsburg Farmers Market, where Jendala pedaled her custom “Jingle Cart” to show and sell her affirmation chimes, posted aptly on Facebook: “I hope heaven is ready for the incredible Jen.”
‘Jendala’
The name is that of her crafts business, a combination of her name, Jennifer, and “dala,” which is what she called the dangling pieces of metal on which she wrote positive words for meditation, confidence or just plain reminders of what’s valuable. (In Sanskrit it means “piece,” or the petal of a lotus among other translations.)
She inscribed by torch a single word on a piece of recycled metal: From Heart to Sunshine to Hope to Share, Family, Friendship, Spirit. Positive expressions of positive energy. That’s Jendala; each one a piece of Jen.
The single-word cards, sometimes etched with simple flowers, suns or other shapes, could be combined into a one-of-a-kind chime—hence the name of the euphonious Jingle Cart, in which she transported and sold her works. Her customers were widespread, not just from a circuit of farmers and crafts markets but via on-line marketing (etsy.com/shop/Jendala) and word of mouth.
Over time she herself became known as Jendala, a name that seemed to suit her though many still called her Jen. As she wrote on her website, jendala.com, “My nickname is Jendala, a name that evolved over time as I followed my heart as an artist creating my life.”
One of a Kind
Janet Ciel, the director of the Healdsburg Farmers Market, said they had known each other for over 30 years. “Let’s see, probably I met her in the early 1990s,” Ciel said. “She was a craftsperson at a festival that I was co-running with my ex-husband, the Festival of Art and Wine at Duncans Mills.”
At the time, Jen was selling for someone else, “painted light bulbs that were pretty cool,” Ciel remembered. “And then she started cutting out tin cans and making them into little lamps, little hanging lamps. They were really sweet. That was her first craft.”
Those crafty years came when Jendala was already in her 30s—she was born in 1969. Prior to that she said she had worked as a sheriff’s deputy in Utah and a firefighter in Arizona. Though it took a while for her to develop the metal works she became known for, when they finally took shape she was reborn as an artist.
“The craft that she did was completely unique,” Ciel said. “I was a craftsperson for over 30 years; I made women’s clothing. I traveled all over the country doing festivals, and I never saw anything like what she was doing. Nothing.”
Heartizens
With a plentitude of friends made on the craft-fair circuit, she found her way to Healdsburg permanently in 2004, according to the Proclamation the city issued for her in 2024 when she moved to Tucson after 20 influential years in the city’s arts community.
“I met Jen in 2013 when I organized the seventh annual Healdsburg Arts Festival,” said Gina Riner. “We discovered we shared a similar vision for elevating art and creativity in Healdsburg. And we both had a passion for helping kids and building community.” Riner is still a Healdsburg resident herself after 30-plus years, and a member of the city’s newly formed Arts & Culture Commission.
“Jen was a beacon of light in Healdsburg, and she radiated positivity and joy wherever she went,” Riner said. “I’d be in awe of her when I witnessed it. The ways she blended healing, creativity and community building was astonishing.”
Eventually Jendala created an education center for creative kids, Heartizens, located in the same 444 Moore Lane warehouse where she did her metal work. It provides “creative spaces — both physical and virtual” — for children to explore creativity, the arts and their hearts.
Before she left Healdsburg in September, Jendala made it a point to bring the importance of Heartizens’ mission to the forefront, so that the remarkable space would not lose momentum when she left.
Mona Ashbaugh met Jendala in 2017, about the time the latter was forming Heartizens, and became a board member then. Two years later, she recalled, Jen “complained of pain in her gut.” A couple of weeks after that she tested positive for ovarian cancer.
“And so began her lengthy and painful journey of chemo and infusions,” Ashbaugh said. “Jen was quite transparent about her health … On social media, Jen cleared up misconceptions about ovarian cancer and the importance of early detection.”
By 2021 the cancer had progressed to Stage 4, but her scans were clear, which gave her reason to hope. “I arrive to a whole new me, Jendala, made up, imagined, fought for, and now rising like the Phoenix,” she posted enthusiastically—then asked for donations to Heartizens.
Pseudo-Siblings
Mark Themig, the current Community Services director, met Jendala at the first city meeting he attended, in 2015. “Jen came to the City Council meeting to talk about her idea of creating opportunities for teens and for youth in her studio space,” he recalled. “And she brought this pretty incredible radiance and energy and excitement to the City Council chambers during public comment.”
Because the council could not comment or respond to public comment, Themig got the feeling Jendala left disappointed, so he followed her out to introduce himself. “Hey, my name’s Mark,” he said. “I’m new to the city. I would love to come to your studio sometime and learn more.”
They became good friends, pseudo-siblings. Themig helped her navigate the city’s paperwork to eventually make her Heartizens vision a reality. Though he admits he is not an artist.
But the education went both ways. “You know, coming from Minnesota—there’s wonderful artwork there, but there certainly isn’t the same kind of vibe as California, in terms of people being more free-spirited and creative and doing these cool things. It was more conservative, more Norwegian,” Themig said.
“So that was kind of my background, and she would push my boundaries sometimes and make me think about things differently.”
Late in 2023, Themig was diagnosed with cancer himself, caused by an infection of human papillomavirus (HPV). “She was there to support me,” he said. “There wasn’t a lot people could do because the treatment’s so awful for anal cancer, but she was here as I came out of treatment.”
He is in full remission, and has long been back at work full-time.
Going Home
Earlier in 2024, Jen Utsch began planning a move back to Tucson, where her mother, sister and one of her three brothers lived. Though she appeared lively and as inspirational as always, the cancer had never left her. The idea of returning to Arizona seemed a transparent admission that she wanted to be there, with family, when she transitioned.
It was a poorly kept secret. “I mean, she was saying to me in one breath, ‘I’ll be back, I’ll see you in the spring,’” said Janet Ciel. “And in the next breath saying, ‘You know, it’s probably really smart of me, I really have to go back there. I have to have someone be there for me.’”
In September, she and Themig loaded up a trailer and headed to Tucson from Healdsburg—an epic journey that involved breakdowns and synchronicity. When they finally arrived they moved her into the one-story, ranch-style house she had bought to call her own, a luxury she had not fully enjoyed for years.
Her plans to return to Healdsburg for the final Farmers Markets were canceled as her energy level faded. She saw doctors throughout the winter, and the news was never good: The cancer had returned, and spread. It was inoperable.
The last week of January, Ciel posted an update on the Healdsburg Farmers Market Facebook page: “I wanted to keep you informed that Jen Utsch (Jendala), our beloved metal-worker, Heartizens organizer, and community angel, is now in hospice and may not have long. Most know she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer several years ago, and has been fighting it like a champ; remarkably beating it twice. But, as cancer usually does, it is beating her at this point.”
From her hospice bed, supported throughout by her sister Laura Utsch, Jendala received visitors from her friends and family, from out of town, from throughout her wide arts network. “I was with Jen the day she went into hospice,” Themig said. “I spent as much time as I could there; I went back a couple times. And what really amazed me is she has this incredible network of people who were not only her friends, but I mean, they loved her.”
Themig helped organize a Zoom meeting on Jan. 25 with up to 100 people, friends from all around the world, to log on to talk to Jendala one more time. “It was exactly what Jen would’ve wanted,” he said. “It was chaos.”
The State of Arizona does not have a “Death with Dignity” law, but in hospice she was given the choice of a sedative that would essentially end her mental life and allow her body to die.
“And that’s what she did,” Ciel said.
There will be a local celebration of Jendala’s life on Sunday, April 27, at Villa Chanticleer. Details will be forthcoming.
Great article. It is well-researched and written with feeling. My wife and I met Jendala a few times in Healdsburg. My wife bought her art, and several of Jendala’s metal hanging art pieces are around the house and on the patio. Jendala was a positive addition to Healdsburg. We will miss her.
Really beautiful tribute, Christian!
Jen was a bright light for a lot of us, I will never forget her. Her optimism and positivity despite her health struggles was really amazing. Such a kind and creative soul, that was fun to be with. I was lucky to have her as a friend. Her art will remind others about her love and creativity.
Fare the well, Jendala