Gifting for graduates

Mylar balloons, new shoes and envelopes full of money always make good gifts for graduating students. And, this being June and the beginning of the local graduation season, it’s not too early to pick over suitable gift suggestions. But caution is urged. Not all gift categories fit all graduates. Clothing, personalized tattoos or inspirational books can really miss the mark. Graduates may be quite young with much more to learn, but they know exactly what they want. Especially when it concerns fashion, peer approval and mandatory tests for coolness.
Fortunately, we have come across a gift suggestion that will fit every graduate’s needs, is precious but doesn’t really cost that much and comes with impressive past-graduate testimonials.
This “fits all” graduate gift naturally comes from the personal computer and social media realm of devices. It can be compared to the best products offered by Apple, Google, Facebook, Microsoft and Facebook. But it also has many features not usually associated with electronics, screens and fashion statements. Best of all, this device is highly customizable. It can be a great gift for any college-bound graduate, but it can equally satisfy the personalities of a high school senior with a vocational or service career choice in mind. It’s actually a superb gift for that student who is still searching for a future path. Its biggest drawback is it scores very low on the coolness test.
Gifts for graduates have become very expensive. The newest iPad from Apple, Galaxy phone or Google’s new virtual reality device can all cost almost $1,000, when adding tech support and a cloud account. In an age where almost all young people live their lives by connecting to the internet, that may be the accepted cost. Well before these young people became graduates and members of the Class of 2016 they learned the necessity of internet-based socializing, texting, thinking and networking.
Graduation season reminds us of the widening gap of experiences and memories between the young men and women sitting on the stage and their parents and grandparents sitting in the audience. One generation can still remember life without smartphones or the internet; the other generation finds that kind of world unthinkable and helpless.
If only there was a device to bridge the two world views. These days the older generation is too critical of young peoples’ chosen form of communication with texting or faces constantly locked onto the screens held in their palms. Don’t be fooled; knowing how to Google helps turn students into successful graduates these days. The old folks say the young folks are missing out on something. What could that be?
The Class of 2016 are the first graduates who have been nursed on computer-assisted thinking. Siri and Alexa — the computer voices for Apple and Amazon — might as well be considered classmates. This newest class of graduates possess unlimited finger-touch know how — the intellectual power that older generations of graduates couldn’t even dream of.
Our gift suggestion also offers plenty of “know how” power, too, but it also comes with a much higher power on board. And that is “know why,” the power to analyze, problem solve and synthesize original ideas.
Our gift suggestion is hidden under every graduates’ mortarboard cap. It’s the human brain, the world’s original personal computer. It doesn’t need batteries, it has 86 billion neurons and can store the equivalent of three million hours of streaming videos. This biotech device can be operated hands free and is portable but weighs three pounds. There is no operating manual per se and updates must be self-installed. Maybe it’s uncool, but we suggest that every graduate should have one.
This is not artificial intelligence; it’s the other kind. And, it’s cost? Priceless.
— Rollie Atkinson