For a short guy, Gary Weiner sure stands out in a crowd. He’s a distinctive looking man who, in his always all black hipster outfit, with shaved head and Woody Allen-esque glasses, comes across as far younger than the 72+ years he’s at. Gary is an iconic West County character with a lot to say.
He’s a bit of a troubadour, the once-a-year rabbi under the trees in Ragle where the local Jewish community celebrates Rosh HaShanna, and as an attorney and mediator, someone people turn to, to find enough common ground that they can resolve their conflicts with just enough mutual agreement.
I spoke to Gary a few days after the Jan. 6 anniversary of that insurrection-like thing in Washington of last year. I thought I’d get his take on it, deep thinker and reader that he is.
That was a few weeks ago. I think I’ve had a hard time sitting down to write up our conversation because his answers were so damned painful. He touched on some of the struggles we’re experiencing in our still democratic society. Gary was prepared to say what I think many of us are feeling in our guts … that we’re in trouble.
Where and when were you born, Gary?
May 27, 1949. I’m 72. Elizabeth General Hospital in New Jersey. I spent my first five years in Elizabeth, a mile from the Standard Oil Refinery, and then we moved to Linden, the next town over. They bought a house there for $13,000!
Your family?
My beloved Dad was Al, and he died five years ago. His real name was Abraham, but my mom and all his friends called him Bamp. He was a bottle washer with a bachelor’s degree at the International Flavors and Fragrances. He had an antisemitic boss who kept him back for years. Once the guy was fired, he started to move up the ladder. That was in ’55. He ended up running a factory in Manhattan, and later down on the Jersey shore.
My mom, Phyllis Norma, is 97. She lives in Walnut Creek and I’m very connected to her. She reads as many as three books a week. I’m incredibly lucky to still have her in my life.
There’s a sister I love, Kathi, in Concord. My daughter, Sophie, is 32, and now lives in Melbourne, and my son, Ben, has recently moved to the wilds of Vermont.
I know that you lived for years (23!) up on Sweetwater Springs Road, above that old mine, with some dear friends. It was a commune that morphed into a jointly owned property. What was that about?
(Gary takes a deep breath.) Well … it was winter break of 1970. I was a student at Cornell, and my friend Eddie Newman says, “Come with me to our high school friend’s aunt and uncle’s house in Watchung, New Jersey. Just trust me.” So I went.
It was a big suburban house … but inside, it was Valhalla! Nirvana! The place was brimming with life and love and connection. It was full of wonderful human beings learning to connect, of course with a little help from marijuana and LSD.
Later, on spring break, I went back with some college friends and before we knew it, we had formed a family, committed to getting back to the land … We landed in Sonoma County because it was gorgeous, and it was already the home of so many other communes. They were all around us.
We bought 160 acres for $35,000. Some of that was contributed money from the folks who owned that big house in NJ, and others and some of us just gave what we could. There were no written agreements. Turns out we needed one, but never mind that. That’s how I became a lawyer!
I went to Empire Law School for a few years, but quit to play rock and roll. When the band broke up, I got a job with Jack Montgomery, a well-known criminal defense attorney, and eventually I was an apprentice to Chris Andrian. As a result, I qualified to take the bar without ever finishing law school. I’ve been a lawyer and mediator for 38 years now.
And a one-time rock and roll legend! (Gary filled the Sebastopol Arts Center auditorium for a birthday and album release concert he gave on his 70th.)
Indeed. And now I live in the trees near Graton.
Okay. Enough about you. I’m here to pick your brain about where we’re at today as a country … So, are things really as bleak and dark and ominous as I’m feeling they are, or am I just reading too much Heather Cox Richardson, and the Mother Jones daily brief, and The Guardian, and the Times, and they’ve just got it all wrong.
It’s as dark as it’s ever been in my life … I may have been more terrified during the Cuban Missile Crisis in ’62, but that was a fear of immediate annihilation. That was a threat from outside the country, not from an endogenous threat from within.
What scares you most today?
Too many guns, meant to kill too many people, many in the hands of very angry people who believe their country is being stolen from them by other Americans. And then there’s the demagogue lying and misleading them.
Our whole democracy is at risk. I am very concerned that people are going to lose their lives through the 2024 elections. That’s a separate risk from losing our democracy.
Trump is just a symptom of the illness. This is the most recent and the most toxic variant of the virus of the myth of American Exceptionalism and Rugged Individualism.
Wait! There’s more …. You think that’s bad?!? The virus has found a host in co-morbid, rapacious, global corporate capitalism!
Ouch. That does sound bad.
On the other hand, I had a great dinner from El Coqui in Santa Rosa tonight, and I’m going to work on some new music later on.
So it’s not so bad after all! (Gary laughs.)
It’s really going to get violent?
Yup. I don’t see much of a chance of avoiding it although I am a “captive of hope.” (HT, Rabbi Angela Buchdal, NY.)
That’s bleak, but don’t you think that the internet and all our time following our preferred news sources, has whipped us up into a frenzy and has somehow distorted the true reality of our circumstance?
Yeah, the internet amplifies the pathologies and makes everything more virulent. It’s an enabler for those who want to radicalize others and organize acts of violence, as they did on Jan. 6.
Maybe things are bleak, but I always think of how people persevered through the Dust Bowl, the Depression, the Civil War, Jim Crow, Japanese internment camps, Auschwitz, the Blitz in London, the AIDS epidemic … the list is almost endless. We’ve been there before.
Sure. Things work out, but for the survivors. Many of us will survive, but with huge trauma and significant pain.
Gary, you’re a mediator, trained in helping people find their own solutions. Can’t we somehow mediate out of this problem of a divided country?
Sorry. We can’t. Among mediators there’s an expression. “Sometimes, you just have to litigate.” This is that sort of case.
Well, isn’t that what an election is (I asked naively)?
Yes, if everyone believes in the process, and everyone has an equal right and opportunity to vote, and all votes count equally. Our structural problems need resolution, and I can’t see that happening with what we’ve come to see as normal politics.
I have no idea how we get out of this.
I don’t think we’ll have an outright breaking down of civil society or a civil war. We’ll see a creeping authoritarianism. Look at Hungary. The water will keep on running, the supermarkets will still have food.
If you were young again, would you be starting a family?
I’d be a lot more hesitant.
Hey, we haven’t even touched on climate change, COVID, China … So much to keep us up at night, if worries about money, the kids, that spot on your forehead, don’t already. It’s a good thing you already have insomnia to keep you up at night!
You know. It was a beautiful day today. I got a new bike! Things are looking up!
What podcasts are you listening to?
Ezra Klein, The New Yorker Radio Hour, Hidden Brain, Lawfare, Hell and High Water. One of their most recent episodes on 1/4/22, is what I’m basing my most recent thoughts on. Really worth listening to.
What books are you reading?
I’m listening to “The Holy or the Broken.” It’s all about Leonard Cohen’s song, “Hallelujah.” And I’m reading “Unthinkable” by Jamie Raskin, who was the chief prosecutor of the most recent Trump impeachment hearing. It’s about the confluence of the suicide of his son, followed on the very next day, by the Jan. 6 insurrection.
Who would you donate any extra cash to today?
Anything that gives food away to people.
Gary, I know that you’ve had some recent health issues. It’s good to see you so strong, vibrant and on the mend.
You telling me? I have a lot to be grateful for; a sweetheart, a family I love, friends far and wide who I care for and who hold me.
And just about nothing makes me happier, than someone who lets me talk about myself!
No problem Gary. Anytime.
The Redwood Empire Food Bank gives food away. They’re at: https://refb.org
