Ex Libris

“Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult. A review by Linda Selover.
In book form or recording on cassettes or CDs, in English and
Spanish.
This story follows the lives of two young women and their
children over a period of 18 years. One is a midwife who helps a
young, single, pregnant lawyer with the birth of her child. They
become friends and raise their children as friends until they have
a falling out. The lawyer later becomes a judge.
The writer uses flashbacks to show how the boy has been bullied
since kindergarten, and how, in high school, the girl changes in
order to join the “in crowd.” In their junior year, 19 minutes is
all the time it takes to destroy 21 young lives, their families,
and their small community through a school shooting.
Some people call it “teasing,” but it is really bullying. It is
done verbally and nonverbally, physically and electronically,
frequently below and beyond the awareness of responsible adults.
Some pass it off as childish play, even when it goes far beyond the
limits of play. Bystanders are usually rendered helpless by fear.
If they interfere or stand up for someone else, the ridicule and
bullying behaviors might be turned on them as well.
To educate yourself about this very real problem, presentations
on bullying in Sonoma County include, “Parenting with Wit and
Wisdom” on Thursday, Feb. 10, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm at the Glaser
Center at 347 Mendocino Ave. Spanish translation will be provided.
The cost is $20 in advance and $25 at the door. Training for
teachers and mental health professionals is titled, “The Bully,
Bullied, and the Bystander: Breaking the Cycle of Violence,” and
will be on Friday, Feb. 11, from 9 a.m. to noon, at a cost of $75.
Both are presented by Barbara Coloroso, an international
bestselling author on parenting, teaching, school discipline,
positive school climate, bullying, grieving, nonviolent conflict
resolution, and restorative justice. For questions call:
571-2048.
The website for registration is www.parentsplace online.org/sonoma. Below the
registration button is a link to an interview with Barbara Coloroso
about how bullying differs from normal childhood conflicts. Another
website is www.bullyonline.org/workbully/
bully.htm.
Word of the Day: bully. A few verb synonyms include browbeat,
consternate, cow, deter, discourage, dishearten, dismay, dispirit,
horrify, intimidate, scare, shake, subdue, terrify, thwart. Is that
enough? Here are a few nouns: annoyer, antagonizer, browbeater,
bulldozer, coercer, harrier, hector, intimidator, oppressor,
persecutor, pest, rascal, rowdy, ruffian, tease, tormenter. Know
anyone like that? Even more important, do your children have to put
up with someone who fits that description? Both the bully and the
bullied need help from caring adults. 
— Necia Liles, editor