I think “toddlerhood” is by far the most fun stage in our kids’ development. They are sponges, always absorbing new information, sights and sounds. The world is exciting and new. A trip to the park is an adventure and making a sand castle is magical. You pick out their clothes, choose their meals and plan their day. Easy right? As their wonderful personalities emerge, you get a glimpse into who they might be, what they might like. After you think you have it figured out, it all starts again because they turn into teenagers.
Having my teens home with me all summer proved to be an interesting time. As you know, the school year is always hectic, and the most time we spend with our kids is at dinner. After that they do homework and then go to bed. The summer months provide ample opportunity to simply just hang out and get to know them again. Finding out what they like, what they want to do. I’m very grateful for that time these last few weeks because it was life changing.
I had an epiphany, a nagging, gut feeling that I needed to change the path my teens were headed on. It was eye opening, scary and really difficult. But it was also motivating and necessary. The lives of my teens were superficial. I didn’t see depth in their friendships or a sense of self-awareness. I could have just sent them back to the same school, for the same classes, to be around the same kids and I couldn’t do it. I needed to break them away from all they knew, to force them out of their comfort zone. I needed to feel hopeful and a drastic change was the only way to accomplish that goal.
As you are reading this you might be thinking that I am crazy for uprooting my teens from an environment they are comfortable in. Maybe I am, but I’m the type of parent who doesn’t care what other people think of me. This world that our teens are growing up in is really frightening, the territory and playing field are foreign. So they are both headed to the unknown, to meet new people, to find themselves and forge new relationships.
I know in heart that my teens, and yours, too, have a box of hidden talents that remain unopened inside of them, with gifts and natural abilities that they need to tap into and foster. One of the hardest parts about parenting teenagers is the struggle to either force them to do what you want them to do, or waiting for them to discover and take hold of their fate. For instance, during the family meeting at the new school, the principal asked my son why he chose choir as his musical class choice. When I heard this, my jaw almost hit the floor. My son wants to sing, in a choir? How cool is that? My daughter chose wood working. “Wow,” I thought, “she wants to learn a new trade.” After these interviews, my fears melted away. My “mom sense” was telling me it was going to be OK. The path unknown is the best path to take for my family. My mom often jokes with me that I am a Warrior Mother. I now gladly accept that title.
As our new journey starts, think about your journey ahead and your teenagers. Talk to them, check in with them about their friends, school and their path. Trust your instincts and listen to your gut and listen to them. Really hear their words, their fears and their dreams. Teenagers all have gifts waiting to be explored, but I believe all parents have the “Warrior” in them as well. As the new year approaches, it might be time to let yours come out. Good luck …
