A few months back, I wrote a column about a lake adventure we were going to take this summer. The lake we chose is in Wisconsin where my father-in-law has a cabin and a couple of boats, the tubing gear and other such lake toys.
We just arrived home yesterday, tired and ready to sleep in our own beds. For me, at the end of any family vacation comes reflection and a renewed sense of energy. On this trip I got an added bonus; a look into the future of my teenagers’ next few years. I think I came home with some new gray hair and a new worry wrinkle on my forehead. Wasn’t I supposed to come home with a suntan?
We were on the lake in the speedboat, both of my teens taking turns tubing. The driver of the boat was my brother-in-law in his early 30s. Kind of a jokester, he thought it would be funny to make my teens fall off the tube in the most dangerous way possible. As I’m watching my teens get thrown in the air, their bodies constricting in ways that aren’t meant to bend, I’m praying they make it back in the boat in one piece. My son was the first victim of hitting the wake, flying into the air and landing back in the water on his stomach. I thought he would climb back in the boat freaked out, never again attempting the wrath of the unforgiving water. But, his reaction was the opposite; he was elated, shivering and teeth clattering from the adrenaline and rush he had just experienced. Then it was my daughter’s turn. She’s tall but just over 100 pounds and I thought for sure she would crack in half. I was wrong, she went for another turn and this time hung on even harder, upping the challenge of throwing her from the tube to see where she would land in the water. Of course my brother-in-law was oblivious to my hands holding on for dear life, my closed eyes and my upside down smile and proceeds to say, “Hey you guys, want to learn to drive the boat?”
As I’m again holding on for dear life while my son is at the helm, I turn to look at him and he is literally smiling ear to ear. I have never seen him like that, truly free and happy. He then says, “I feel the need for speed, hold on Mom.” And you know what? I did. I held on but I also let go. I let go of my fear and embraced the fact that my son was driving a speedboat on his own, totally in control and loving it. My daughter drove just as well, a little slower but like a pro. As we made it back to shore a sense of calm took over us, we had had an adventure, a life-changing, new experience. For the very first time, my teens felt what it’s like to be in control, to grasp that sense of freedom and rebellion and they reveled in it.
That need for speed they both crave isn’t going away. In the next few years it will blossom, mature, and hopefully help them down the bumpy road of teenhood. As I watch them and live it with them I’ll take many deep breaths and pray a lot. But, I learned a very valuable lesson on this vacation; teenagers are amazing and if we let them live a little, we parents get a lot back.
As you know, there are highs and lows of vacationing with teenagers.
