Do you remember your first crush? I do, it was in 8th grade, that final year before high school and adventures beyond. A first crush is kind of like a rite of passage.
It entails stepping out of your comfort zone and putting your faith and feelings into another human being outside of your family. Remember the first phone call and the jitters running up your spine with the shrill of the ringing phone? That awkward first kiss and the tales of it to share with your best friend afterward. When we were growing up we had more of an “old fashioned” introduction to relationships. We weren’t in such a hurry. But our teens these days are in the fast lane when it comes to dating, no pit stops included.
Who out there understands the new dating scene amongst teenagers? I hear stories of my friend’s teens meeting people online and “dating.” How can you date someone you have never met? Isn’t a date a live outing? Doesn’t it include a movie or a meal? One of my other friends told me that she suffered from PTSD all through her daughter’s high school years. She claimed that her daughter told her that nobody had relationships, that her peers just hook up. That story scared me. Our teens today deserve the same experiences we had. In my opinion hooking up doesn’t equate to sharing feelings, finding things in common, laughing at the same jokes, enjoying some music. I think we can all agree that there is something missing in the teen dating scene. Can you put your finger on it?
My son has a girlfriend, a fairly new relationship. As a parent I want to ask a million questions. I envision her joining us for dinner on the weekends, her hanging out at our house, being a permanent fixture. But, that’s my hope, not his. I’m pretty sure he wants to keep that side of his life private. Maybe he is embarrassed by his siblings. After all, the baby’s table manners aren’t all there yet. He does have a tendency to throw food. Maybe my son’s afraid that a flying pea would get stuck in his girlfriends hair. I don’t know, but I think it’s very important to know your teens significant other. It’s a fabulous way to get a glimpse into another side of their life. It’s just getting it to happen that’s the tricky part.
Looking back, my parents didn’t really give me a choice. If I wanted to hang out with my boyfriend, they had to meet him and he had to come to dinner. End of story, no negotiating. If my son’s relationship lasts, I will insist on meeting her. I’ll promise to get the house clean, and the rest of us will be on our best behavior. I’ll promise no embarrassing questions, nothing to personal. A casual, delicious meal. Look at this way, if we all survived our first crush, we can survive our first dinner with our teenagers first crush … how wild does that sound?
