The other day, I picked my son up from school and had some errands to run afterward. I also had the baby in the car and we all know what a pain it is to get the littles out of their car seat every time we have to go a store. So I nicely asked my son to run into the post office to mail a folder to my mother-in-law. I handed him a couple of dollars and the folder, expecting him to just hop out of the car and go mail it. Instead, he looked at me like I was crazy. “Mom,” he says. “I don’t know how to mail this. What do I say when I get up to the counter?” Oh my goodness, I’m thinking to myself. Ok, be nice Elizabeth, don’t insult him. I had to handle this situation correctly as it was a very delicate one.
It ended up being me who ran into the post office, baby in tow. Funny thing is, I was a quarter short. I didn’t bring in my wallet, only the $2 my son was going to use. So I had to go back to the car for the quarter. What a disaster it would have been had it been my son trying to mail the folder and being short the money. I would have never heard the end of it. He would have been so mad. So, after I’m done, finally back in the car, and annoyed at this point, I realize that both my teenagers don’t know how to do basic, everyday things. Not by any fault of theirs, it’s just that I have never needed to show them things until now. For instance; how to use an ATM machine, tipping etiquette (pizza delivery) and how to write a check (school picture orders) etc. Each of these tasks is easy to an adult, but teens need the guidance and confidence to attempt them first hand. In my experience with both of my teens, they get flustered if a situation doesn’t go smoothly. So guys, get ready for a break down of Life 101. I’m sure they will be oh-so thrilled at the notion of doing these trivial, boring things with their annoying old mom.
Strange thing is, I remember my teen self being a little more capable. By 12 or 13 I was making my own snacks after school (I took the bus home), doing my own laundry and cleaning the house. My mom would leave me money to get food with my friends on weekends. In 8th grade we’d hang out at the mall and shop, buy earrings and trinkets. I just remember my world being different, not so coddled. And that, my friends, was my light-bulb moment. “Ding, ding, ding,” my brain was saying. Up until very recently, I have pretty much done everything for my teenagers. They never had to learn new things because I never asked or made them learn. Well, shame on me.
So, we embarked on an adventure over the next week. They ordered their own coffee drinks, got cash from the ATM (I had to give them my pin number, yikes) made their own food after school and put their lunches together in the morning. You get my drift here. My teens have now learned a few basic life tasks, with many more to come. I bet you’re wondering if they complained at all. You bet they did, the whole time. I was lame for making them do these things and how boring it was. But I got the feeling that there was more meaning behind their complaints. Maybe something like, thanks mom, now if I’m out in public with my peers, I will be able to handle myself and won’t look silly. So parents, next time your teen wants to make a food run, push them out of the car, hand them cash and make them do the ordering. Little baby steps to a much, much bigger reward …
