The other day, I took my teenage daughter shopping for some new school items. We ended up at one of those large, overwhelming, colorful makeup stores. I gave her a budget and told her I would meet her in the front of the store in half an hour. I happened to see her talking with one of the sales associates. She was animated and happy; in her element if you will. I could honestly see her becoming a makeup artist for movies, plays and weddings.
On the way home in the car, I told her that her passions can become her reality. To follow her dreams and to never let anyone sway her away from them. Dreams are gifts and they should be explored and opened with much thought. A heavy conversation after a day out shopping, but a necessary one.
This brought back a memory from my teen years, bad advice from a school counselor. I started my freshman year in college as a journalism major. I loved reading, writing creative stories, broadcasting. I was excited for the years ahead, to learn and graduate and hopefully find my dream job. Sadly, the counselor managed to convince me change my major to liberal studies. He said that journalism wasn’t a popular major anymore and that I should go into teaching instead. This one decision changed the course of the next 20 years of my life. I did become a teacher, and then I got married and had my family. But, I never stopped writing. The words were always in my head, on paper, in journals. And now, I’m writing this, ecstatic that I finally found my outlet. Happy that after so long, I’m listening to my own advice, not someone’s else’s.
In the spirit of lost dreams, If your adult self could go back to your teen self, what would say? Would you change anything? Would one of your hobbies become a career or would you change nothing? Were your parents supportive of you? These are big questions but maybe answered simply. If given the chance to turn back time, one decision or path, what would you change? And what would you tell your teenagers today?
When I tell my teens to really think about their decisions they make about school or life, I try to show them the pros and cons about their choices. Our teens live in a world a opportunity. They are very fortunate to be offered orchestra classes, yoga, and woodworking in school. They have so much in front of them, so much life ahead. It’s easy for us parents to steer them in a certain direction, but at the end of the day they should be creating their own realities. I never thought of myself as a tiger mom. I’m pretty laid back, but as they age their decisions become much more important. I don’t want to lose sight of what really matters most though; happiness.
Think of that word: happiness. Now think of your teenager. What makes them truly happy? Do you know, do they know? As a parent of two teenagers I have learned to just start accepting the weirdness. And you know what, the weird factor is kind of fun. My son wrote a song the other day, completely out of the blue. My daughter decided to rearrange her room, claimed it wasn’t “feng shui” enough. I got a good laugh out of these things. I’d rather be laughing than pulling my hair out because of frustration. I don’t know what the next twenty years looks like for my teens but I do know this: I’m going to support their dreams, their hobbies, their mistakes and mishaps. I’m going to be the best mom and guidance counselor I can. And If they want to design a six wheel motorcycle or a hovercraft, the only thing I’ll tell them is “save a seat for me, I want to be along for the ride.” The world is their field of dreams and I can’t wait to see where it takes them.
