This past weekend was my Mom’s 72nd birthday. We celebrated with a girls-only brunch and an afternoon of scouting out vintage stores. As we savored our last few sips of coffee after our meal, we got to talking about the world that she grew up in and how much different things are today.
The startling reality we all realized to be true was the alarming pace of all of our current lives. Life is lived in the fast lane, no matter your age or generation. We all debated whether it’s a good thing, or bad.
The discussion at brunch was interesting. My Mom, sister and I all agreed that slowing things down would be nice. My teen daughter and teen niece argued to keep things the same, even speed them up. Speed them up I thought? Why? Why would you guys want to speed through high school, take classes at the JC to graduate early? Go to school abroad for a year before college, leave your family behind? Why does every teenager I know want to escape teenhood?
This got me thinking about their teen experience. What does this generation face that I didn’t? Why don’t they like high school? Is it the academics, the peer pressure, social media? Is it life in general at this age that is just wonky? Does being a teenager suck in general? No matter what year, the 70’s, 90’s, 2000’s. Maybe, just maybe, the overall human teenage experience is rocky, bumpy and stormy.
For once, I don’t have any good, sound answers to my own parental questions. But I do have insight, and I know what’s true in my gut in regards to moving forward with my two teens.
I’m not going to let them rush through school. I’m not going to pressure them to get 4.0 GPA’s. I’m not going to pressure them to play sports, to get their driver’s licenses.
What I’m learning is that their lives out of the home are full of pressure. To smoke weed or take other drugs. To be reckless, to be cool, perfect. So in my opinion they don’t need any more pressure. What they need is support and love and guidance. What they crave is balance. And that is what I’m going to provide them.
I’m grateful that my parents are healthy and a part of my teens’ lives. Their experience and grandparent advice is really significant. They have a fresh perspective and an innate way of incorporating life lessons into everyday experience. Their stories are so rich in history and detail that I don’t want my teenagers to grow up not knowing about the past.
As with life, whether you are 16 or 72, there is always good reason to slow down, smell the roses, cruise in the slow lane for a while. Life itself goes by so fast, in a blink of an eye sometimes. The fast lane is always there, I’ll kindly remind my teens, waiting in the wind, tempting us with speed. And when you do decide to jump in, be ready.
Obviously, I’ll be there at the finish line, as any Mama Bear would be. And I can’t wait to see how fast they go and in what direction, even if I am holding on for dear life.
Elizabeth Knobel lives in Windsor and is the mother of two teens who give her inspiration everyday. She can reached at
el*********@ms*.com
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