Since the air quality has improved from the fires I have felt compelled to get outdoors. Just to take in the changing color of the leaves and to enjoy the chillier mornings.
After big kid drop off, my two year old and I have been going to the park each morning. He plays and runs around while I sip on my cappuccino. This last week I saw a teenage couple hanging out before their school starts. At first I didn’t pay much attention, but their extreme public displays of affection caught my eye. At first I thought, how sweet, and then my Mom instincts kicked in and said, “Ew, how gross.” Would I want to see either of my two teenagers embracing their significant other? The answer to that question is no. As my son would say, it’s “cringy.” It just makes me want to look the other way. I wanted to say to the teens at the park, “Hey guys, can you go somewhere else more appropriate? There are toddlers here. Go lock lips somewhere private!”
I knew the day would come when my teens would finally meet a good person and have their first real relationship, something more mature and serious then they experienced in middle school. I actually looked forward to it. To see who they would like, who they would be attracted to and I prayed for the best. I hoped for big Sunday dinners and movie nights on the couch. My house is small but it’s cozy, all the more reason to cram us all in the TV room. As beautiful as this all seemed in my mind, reality has awoken me to a few unexpected turn of events.
The first hurdle is whether you like the person your teenager brings home. Thankfully, my son has a new girlfriend and she is fabulous, we all adore her. She fits right in with our crazy family. In fact, she seems to embrace the loud, hectic circus we all live in. But now, they want to hang out all the time, everyday, every waking hour. Clearly they have both been struck by Cupid’s arrow. Teenage love is floating all around the air in my house and it is thick. This brings me to the second hurdle; the sex talk. My husband and I agreed after seeing the two of them stealing kisses that it was time. The birds and the bees are buzzing and cheeping loudly. The mixture of young love and teenage hormones is an intense combination that Mother Nature created. It’s now officially in full bloom at my house.
So how does a parent prepare for the sex talk? Teenagers can get any type of information they need of the internet. What could I possibly say that would resonate with their teenage brain? They are going to think anything I say is gross because I am their Mom and according to them, Moms don’t have sex. So, I going to be flat out honest. I will simply say, “I do not want to be a grandmother any time soon. In order to avoid that happening, here are the necessary steps of protecting yourself and your partner.” Taking the scientific approach is best for my son. When it’s my daughters turn, my tactics will be very different.
As dizzying this all seems, I’m strangely ready to deal with it. There is no time for baby steps anymore. The next few years will be more like hurdles. I’m hoping I can jump over most of them with my parent dignity still in tact. Their is a shift in the parent brain too (mine at least) that allows us to grasp the fact that our once small, angelic child is morphing into a young adult. They will want to try adult things, it’s normal. Our job is to teach them how to handle their new experiences. To be smart and respectful of others and themselves. But if I do stumble over some these hurdles, if I fall, I’ll try my hardest to get back up and dust myself off. I feel good, I feel ready to tackle my teenagers head on. Momma Bear is ready for the big bad world of high school and beyond. Here is to smooth sailing and the hope that Cupids arrow doesn’t find my daughter any time too soon….
Much luck to you other parents out there. Keep your eye out for Cupid. I have a feeling it’s his busy season.
Elizabeth Knobel lives in Windsor and is the mother of two teens who give her inspiration everyday. She can reached at
el*********@ms*.com
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