Country roads

Renee Kiff
A warning: some of the images in this article may be disturbing
to the reader.
Put a whole bunch of house-keepers in a big gymnasium. Present
them with the following scenario – that when they get home their
most fastidious friends will be at their doorstep, baggage in hand,
to stay for a week. Now, those housekeepers with company-ready
refrigerators line up on the east side of the gym. Those who will
panic, blocking entrance to their kitchens line up on the west
side.
How many of you would be on the west side with me?
The topic of refrigerators has been my subject at least every
three years and I usually determine that this time I’m going to
join the other line, but I keep failing
What is it about a little leftover vegetable or hamburger or
salad that screams, “Don’t waste me! You’ll eat this tomorrow for
lunch!!”
As Erma Bombeck wrote about her problem with keeping
refrigerators clean, she described shoving little containers
farther and farther toward the back so that she wouldn’t have to
deal with them until they were fuzzy and black. Then, she and her
family would declare them “ready!” and they’d be disposed of.
Looking up the subject on Google, I find that the awfulness
isn’t just disgusting to the senses, it is downright dangerous. It
harbors germs and can even contaminate good food.
The clean, organized web page suggests the following. Set aside
a time each week to clear the refrigerator and clean it entirely.
They warn it is time consuming but it will end your problem.
Without this discipline they say we are doomed to continue our old
habits and they are right.
If I know that I will be cleaning out half a dozen little
plastic containers and their lids I will think twice before I fill
them with a tablespoon of fish here and a quarter cup of spaghetti
there. (I seem to make tartar sauce a lot and never in the same
container. What is in that plastic deli thing in the right side in
the back? Tartar sauce! What is in the little blue bowl carefully
covered with plastic wrap? Tartar sauce! What’s in a jar on the
shelf of the door? Egg whites. You never can have enough old egg
whites.)
The folks that are trying to cure our unhealthy habit suggest
that many germs enter our family’s insides by way of contaminated
food stuff. Other sources of germs are kitchen rags, cutting
boards, refrigerator handles, food spills, dog dishes. Any food
speck left outside can provide germs and flies can spread them
further.
Wash dish rags and cloths daily and bleach cutting boards. Give
attention to the outsides of the refrigerator, particularly ice
makers, door handles, drawers.
Ziploc bag has a web page that lists the shelf life of meat
items, fish, eggs and prepared foods. It is startling to read that
most of these should only be kept at refrigeration temperature for
1-2 days and freezer temperatures for 1-2 months! Gratefully, they
didn’t list lunch meat at all. Lunch meat is a problem. It comes in
too many packages for too few eaters. Often it loses its appeal and
now I know why – it has lived its two days in the frig! It is time
for the chicken yard!
Chickens, by the way, are the grandest help for refrigerator
cleaners. For the most part, they will eat anything, however
rotten. I believe that chickens are part vulture, appreciating some
really awful stuff, particularly lunch meat that is ‘way past a
tasty sandwich.
Makes you give up sandwiches for a long time in favor of a bowl
of cereal, as long as the milk is fresh. Sour milk? Don’t throw it
out – I can make buttermilk biscuits with sour milk as a substitute
for buttermilk. Ah, but will I? What about the banana bread I was
going to bake using those four black bananas? (Once in awhile I get
it baked – really!)
Yet, I want to join the line on the east side.
“You’ve come to visit? What a surprise! Hungry? Let’s see what I
have in the refrigerator?”
Renee Kiff weeds and writes at her family farm in Alexander
Valley.