The United States has lost its way, lost its morals, lost its standing in the world, obviously lost a bet in a cosmic game of truth or dare. I dare you to point out a president who has eviscerated the reputation of the U.S. so quickly and so profoundly.
There are an embarrassing number of examples of his extraordinary unfitness for office, but I think this is a perfect snapshot of his inadequacies: Speaking at a recent ceremony honoring Navajo war veterans, he couldn’t resist throwing in a jab at Elizabeth Warren, calling her “Pocahontas.” Again. That must crack them up in fourth grade. As if that weren’t bad enough, the whole glossy pretend-a-thon took place in front of a portrait of Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson. Yes, that Andrew Jackson. He who was responsible for the Trail of Tears, a forced relocation of Native Americans resulting in more than 4,000 deaths. That’s not irony, that’s just pathetic.
Alas, he is not alone in his inexcusable inhumanity. In addition to his relentless tweet-rants, each day also brings more celebrities accused of various levels of sexual harassment, ranging from extremely poor judgment (see Al Franken) to obnoxiously creepy (see Matt Lauer) to downright predatory (see Roy Moore, Harvey Weinstein) to insecure, juvenile, arrogant, bullying, denigration (see you-know-who).
I spent a great deal of my adult life working in professional theater. You know us show folks, we have no morals. While producing plays, there is invariably a great deal of joking around backstage and during rehearsal. You get to know your fellow actors pretty well, pretty quickly and the sexual innuendo and “harmless” jokes fly fast and furious. Sometimes it’s even mildly humorous.
Never did it cross the line into a forced sexual experience in my presence, and I never personally witnessed a sexual quid pro quo arrangement, but of course it could have happened without my knowledge. However, many of my “clever” zany one-liners would probably hold me up to mockery and condemnation today.
My so-called career occurred way after the anything-goes era of rampant drugs, easy sex and occasional rock and roll, but in graduate school, the head of our department had a pool and hot tub to which he allowed 24/7 access to all students. The one caveat: you had to swim or tub naked. His justification? He suffered a severe leg injury with heavy scarring during WWII and felt that only when everyone was naked would we be truly equal.
I will pause while you chew on that.
I went to his grotto a few times and after the first few minutes of unease, I actually did relax a bit and everyone pretty much stayed relatively sane. Was there hanky-panky? Of course. Were there Caligula-like orgies? Not that I saw (maybe I just wasn’t invited). It did liven up our ping pong games, however.
Looking back, I think the guy was a major lecher and would have been tossed in jail within minutes if he tried that today. But we just went along with it. Why? Because he was in a position of power and you understood that, while there may not be repercussions if you didn’t stop by, you were certainly going to be treated a little more favorably if you did drop in and strip down on occasion.
I have no firsthand experience with what these many women had to suffer at the hands (sometimes literally) of these powerful men who, tormented by their insecurities, apparently felt the need to exert their power in the most obscene and derogatory ways possible.
However, I get it. When you’re in the situation, there’s at first a “what the hell is happening here?” moment, followed by a “just get through this” mentality and often an understandable reluctance to speak up and out. This may be for fear of retaliation, of firing, of losing favor. Yet we let this toxic environment fester and passively allowed a society in which that behavior – overtly and tacitly – became normalized. “Boys will be boys” taken to a perverse degree.
It doesn’t have to be that way. We have gone too long accepting, tolerating, excusing behavior that is designed to reinforce an ancient and barbaric power hierarchy. It’s more than looking at our actions in context of sexual overtures; it goes to the core of the golden rule. And, “Hey I was only joking” is a lousy cop out. We have a coarse, corrosive example of civility in the White House, but we are better than that, better than him, better than what our so-called leaders have shown us.
These men in power? Turns out they are among the weakest of us all.
Steven welcomes your comments. You can reach him at st***************@gm***.com.
