To gift or not to gift

Susan Swartz
This could be the year, in our family, for good wishes, loving
thoughts and no gifts. When Santa, the spirit of Christmas formerly
known as Mr. Big Box, slips only a few envelopes under the
tree.
Envelopes not with gift cards but with little notes inside that
read something like, “A donation has been made in your name to
(some worthy cause) and whose selfless efforts will lead to greater
peace and harmony than by my going to the mall to buy you something
you can’t afford to buy for yourself and I really can’t
either.”
I think of it as our good karma Christmas. A day on which we
gather with our kids and grandkids and pass around good cheer but
nothing that comes in a box with a gift return slip taped
inside.
This no-gift option is something that Father Christmas and I
started talking about after Thanksgiving. We have already tried
downsizing. In other years we’ve set price limits. We’ve drawn
names so that we only give to one person. And then we amended that
plan to allow side presents for everyone else in the form of
stocking stuffers. But sweaters and salad bowls don’t fit inside
stockings, which meant that people went ahead and stacked their
over-sized items on the floor under the assigned stockings, taking
us right back to the old days of piles of presents for all.
But without presents, why get up before dawn on Christmas
morning to dive under the tree? Could we still have our ritual
without the main attraction? We could sit around in our pajamas and
play our favorite Gladys Knight Christmas albums and still indulge
in the Christmas breakfast menu of bagels and lox and some
firewater to splash in the coffee.
Still, rituals are hard to break and no one wants to be called a
Scrooge but really, as I said in my presentation, everyone’s on a
tight budget. There is not a Santa we know who isn’t short on
jingle this year. Our family members are luckily among the employed
and the housed. We still have our health and can buy lox. But there
is a growing band of needy out there. So maybe we suck it up this
year and share with those who don’t have a choice where to put
their money.
But what do we tell the grandkids? Do we announce, “Well,
Christmas is really about spending time together so have a bagel”
or do you make an exception? There is the Christmas story told in
our family about one small child so overwhelmed by the number of
gifts piled up around her feet that she started crying and kicking
them away. That child, now the mother of two, has already requested
that we please keep it to a minimum.
But she worries if we only give presents to the kids they
continue to think they’re the center of the universe.
With two weeks to go, I’m leaning to a combination of good karma
and ka-ching. We choose a favorite local agency that gives to our
community and write a modest but meaningful check. We go lean on
the kids but still get to examine all the cool new things with
wheels at the toy store and contribute to the local economy.
And for the adults, I’m thinking books. To encourage the
necessary art of writing and the quiet peace of reading and to ring
a little bell for our independent book stores.
Susan Swartz is an author and local journalist. You can also
read her at www.juicytomatoes.com and hear
her Another Voice commentary on KRCB-FM radio on Fridays. Email is
su***@ju***********.com.