Mrs. Thong Nguyen enjoyed the fruits of a long, happy life on
Saturday when a house full of friends and family members helped her
celebrate her 100th birthday.
For Nguyen, who lives with her daughter, son-in-law and two
granddaughters in Windsor, the fruits of her life have not always
been sweet.
But Saturday’s gathering, attended by more than 100 guests from
throughout the Bay Area, did not dwell on the sorrows and tragedy
that have marked her life. It was a celebration of her longevity
and good fortune.
A Vietnamese poet sang and recited a poem he had written for her
— a story of her life. A singer serenaded her with a song in
Chinese, a language common to Vietnam.
And a group of friends and family stood before her and sang a
traditional Vietnamese song about a mother’s love. Many of those
who understood the song cried — and so did some who didn’t.
“It’s a very touching song,” said Tam Shook, Nguyen’s daughter
who hosted the party. “It’s very touching to talk about how good a
mother is …to the children, all of her life. Even my mom cried. She
loves that song.”
Affectionately called Bˆ, the traditional Vietnamese name for
grandmother, Nguyen was seated in the living room, her diminutive
figure almost lost in an oversized couch. As guests entered, they
were led to Bˆ, who smiled and kissed each guest, obviously happy
to see them.
After she cut her second birthday cake, single flowers from a
large bouquet of roses were distributed to guests, symbolizing
Nguyen’s wish “to share this luck she has had to live so long.”
Her life has been long — but hardly dull. She was three times a
refugee from her home in North Vietnam, fleeing twice from the
communists during conflicts. She raised 11 children on her own
after he husband died. She also has 38 grandchildren, 37 great
grandchildren and three great, great grandchildren.
The third and last time she left her homeland was during the
fall of Saigon in 1975, when she fled with her daughter, Tam, and a
large group of family members.
Nguyen speaks very little English, and her memories of many of
the events of her life are not as sharp as they once were. But her
smile gives her away — she is happy to be alive and safe with her
family.
Two days before her party, Nguyen spoke about her life, with her
daughter, Tam Shook, serving as an interpreter.
She was born in 1904 in Hai Phong, Vietnam (Many Asian cultures
considered a child to be a year old at birth). The first time she
left her home was in the 1940s during the Japanese-French struggle
over North Vietnam.
Nguyen said she remembered being helped by a Catholic priest,
who fed and sheltered the family, and then “escaping through rice
fields to avoid the fighting.”
“She was afraid,” said Tam, “She remembers she dropped me in the
mud.”
The second time they fled their home was in 1954, a time Tam
remembers because she was a young girl. The communists gave them a
choice — they could stay or go. They chose to move to Saigon to
live with relatives, leaving behind their home. “Even though we
lost some things then, it was not as bad as 1975.”
The family lived in Saigon from 1954-75, and Tam eventually went
to work for an American publishing company. When it appeared that
Saigon would fall to the communists, her boss offered to help the
family leave the country. Two of Tam’s siblings had already fled
the country.
“She (Bˆ) didn’t want to leave,” said Tam. “I told her I would
stay with her.”
But the danger in staying was clear: Anyone who worked for
Americans would be taken to the “re-education camps,” a place from
which many did not return.
“Some people you just didn’t see any more,” said Tam.
Finally, with Saigon’s fall imminent, they agreed to flee their
homeland. “We never thought Saigon would fall … we didn’t believe
it,” said Tam.
With the help of her American employer, Tam, her mother and
about 75 family members boarded C-130 military cargo planes at the
main Saigon airport, Tan Son Nhat. “The airport was filled with
many people who never got out,” said Tam. “It was sad … very
scary.”
“I was afraid, but I knew I had to take care of everyone,
because I spoke English,” she said. “Now I can talk about it.
Before when people asked me, I couldn’t talk about it.
“It was very hard. You knew you were not coming back home. You
lost everything.”
The group flew to Subic Bay in the Phillipines, then to Guam and
on to Ft. Chafeee, Arkansas.
The extended family was split up, and Tam, Nguyen and her family
settled in Seattle. They were sponsored by a church community,
which helped them find work, an apartment and American living
skills: “How to ride a bus, all the little things that were new to
us,” said Tam.
“Some of us went back to schol to get a job,” she said. “We
wanted to be independent. We didn’t want to be on welfare.”
Tam met her future husband, Mike Shook, they married and she
moved to Sonoma County. Bˆ moved to Windsor to live with them in
1975. “I love all my children,” Nguyen said. “I am very happy
here.
In 1998, she beame a U.S. citizen.
“She’s amazing,” said Tam. “She is doing very well for her
age.
Nguyen tells her daughter that her life is good, but every day
is different.
“She says it is just old age,” said Tam. “Some days it’s rainy …
some days it’s sunny.”
But you won’t hear her griping about it. “She never complains,”
said her son-in-law Mike Shook.
“I had a good life,” said Nguyen. “Everybody suffered during the
war.”
As for her longevity, she attributes it to faith, moderation and
right living.
“She gives thanks to Buddha,” said Tam. “She is very fortunate
and thanks God and Buddha … who blesses her. She did all the good
things and never did all the bad things. She loves all of her
people. She never raises her voice. She takes care of herself. She
always eats right. If she is full, she stops. And she exercises.
And she has her family to take care of her.”
Her family, including granddaughters Kim and Aimee, clearly
adore her.
“I wish I could be like her,” said Tam. “My mom is the best mom
in the universe. Sometimes I ask her why she never raises her
voice. She says, ‘I am happy.’ I just hope she will live as long as
she doesn’t have pain. We all are very grateful to have my mom here
with us.”
