Is it possible that Hollywood, our California state legislature, parts of the U.S. military, the NFL, FOX News, an Alabama U.S. Senate candidate and even the White House all have rising evidence of an embedded culture of sexual harassment and the rest of us don’t?
Judging from the thousand-plus women and supporters who marched under a #MeToo banner this past weekend and the 4.7 million people who posted #MeToo Facebook protests about the latest harassment revelations, the answer is, yes, we all have a share of guilt and shame in this picture.
When a man can brag about grabbing women by their private parts and has been accused of sexual misconduct by over 20 women, including teenage beauty contestants and an ex-wife and still be elected president of the United States, it’s proof that all of America — and not just the more glittery or salacious parts — has a deep and decrepit problem.
If anyone thought we solved gender bias and equality for females long ago with the 1970s Women’s Rights Movement, they couldn’t be more wrong. Last year, the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Office (EEOC) prosecuted 90,000 cases of workplace harassment. Almost half were sexually based and over 95 percent were filed by women against men. Much more astounding than those figures is that EEOC officials believe less than one in five actual sex harassment cases are ever reported.
That means not just Kevin Spacey, Bill Cosby, Donald Trump, Bill O’Reilly, Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K. or Judge Roy Moore has a problem. This is about all of us, especially all our daughters, mothers, sisters and female co-workers.
This is not just about sex. In the most publicized cases it’s more about money, power and politics. But this cultural blind spot also leads to everyday harassment, teasing, cyberbullying, unwanted attention and touching and the more despicable cases of molestation, rape and other violence.
When too many of us dismiss Trump’s bragging about grabbing women as locker room talk, we realize how difficult it will be to advance our society to where women are given real respect and where boys and young men might eventually be taught zero tolerance.
Sonoma County is not Hollywood. There have been no recent accusations that any of our elected officials are subjects of any #MeToo allegations. But we know we are not immune or innocent here. We read about the alleged serial sexcapades at Healdsburg’s SoFi offices and we remember other civil court sex discrimination and workplace harassment cases in the local courts. The flow of domestic violence and harassment cases at the Family Justice Center and at the nonprofit Verity.org further proves we need to take action.
“It starts at the top,” is what the EEOC’s task force on harassment in the workplace pointed out as the best place to start. Workplace training must stop focusing on avoiding legal trouble and instead be dedicated to respecting individual rights. Workers need to be trained about bystander intervention.
The best cures begin at earlier ages. Verity.org offers a Youth Empowerment Program and Teen Assault Prevention Program in local schools. Wherever “boys will be boys” behavior is allowed is where our sexual harassment culture will continue to expand.
Women of all ages, and at all times, must feel safe and free from verbal or physical threats of taunting, touching or retaliation. Men like Trump, Cosby and Spacey must learn that only “yes” means yes. Boys in local classrooms must learn this, too. And someone has to suggest ( and be) better adult role models. Too many celebrities and athletes fail to qualify and they should be cut from their teams and have their Twitter feeds removed forever.
This is on all of us, most especially on fathers, brothers and workmates. Stop it.
