The other day I had an enlightened “ah-ha” moment. As I was arguing with my teen daughter about driving her to and from three different places after school, she stops and looks at me and asks, “What’s wrong with driving? Why is it such a big deal to go from one place to the other? Isn’t driving fun, Mom?” Her questions took me aback and got me thinking.
My 16-year-old self couldn’t wait to drive. My best friend got her license before me, and I will never forget the first time she picked me up and we drove together. It was truly epic. We were alone, in a car, Guns N’ Roses blaring through the speakers. We were loving life. At that time, driving was a release. It was freedom from my parents, school, everyday boredom. Driving truly is a milestone in a teenager’s life. It is also an enormous responsibility. One that unfortunately I did not take seriously. I was a pretty bad teen driver. I hate to admit it, but I was. I had a mild fender bender and my black Honda Civic never quite looked the same. In fact, I was embarrassed to drive it afterward. I only wish then that I would have appreciated the car my parents got me and paid for. Now as a parent I’m wondering… should teenagers be given cars? Should they be given the right to drive at 16?
I know it’s a big question, and it’s a decision my husband and I will face very soon as my son will be old enough to start Driver’s Ed. Every day when I pick him up at school I witness some pretty reckless driving. The kids speed through the parking lot and are oblivious to anyone trying to reverse from a parking spot. They blare their music and peel out of the lot. They seem to always be rushed and in a hurry to leave. And don’t even get me started about them looking down at their phones while in the driver’s seat. I’m really not exaggerating when I say it’s some of the worst driving I have seen. Worse than mine when I was 16 and that says a lot. I am thankful that the cell phone didn’t exist back then. Maybe I wouldn’t be here today if it did.
So, if you too are coming to that driving stage with your teen, think about it, and think about it hard. Is your teen responsible? Will they promise not to text and drive? Will they follow through with that promise? I know as a family we will talk about the driving issue many more times before it happens. I know we will drill safety into our son’s head until he can’t stand it anymore. He will either get it or he won’t. Only time will tell. Luckily, we have no qualms about taking things away, even cars. There will be a lot of silent praying in my head and my heart when my son gets behind the wheel for the first time. I will just have to remember to put a little faith in him as I do everyday during these crazy teen years. One milestone down, many more to come. Fingers crossed parents, we will all get through it somehow right?
On a more funny note, I wish I could have said to my daughter that driving is fun. As an adult it would be nice to play my music, be going somewhere I want to go. I’m always on constant Mom duty so maybe one day, when the kids are grown up, my husband and I will take a long, nice cross-country trip. Our music will play through the speakers, there will be no whining, and we can stop at any time and any place. By then, maybe my daughter will have her own family and she will finally understand why driving sometimes isn’t that fun.
Elizabeth Knobel lives in Windsor and is the mother of two teens who give her inspiration everyday. She can reached at
el*********@ms*.com
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