Decoding Teens

This morning as I was driving my kids to school I noticed something.  My two teenagers looked like zombies (not to be mean, of course).  They both had managed to groom themselves and put clean clothes on, but they did not look refreshed from the night before. They had dark circles under their eyes, and at best, I got mumbled goodbyes as the car doors shut.  Then I look in my review mirror at my 9 year old. In contrast, she is bright eyed, happy and energized.  And the realization hits me.  My teens stayed up last night….those little buggers didn’t get into bed on time and it definitely showed this morning.
I am a true believer in sleep. I am very diligent about my bedtime.  I feel better and handle stress well, if I am properly rested.  Sleep to my adult self is crucial.  In hindsight,  my teenage self wasn’t this knowledgeable. I too always fought with my parents about going to bed.  My mom would always joke that the sleep police were going to find me.  Even if I was falling asleep on the couch, I still wouldn’t go upstairs. I wonder why I did that. As I’m watching my own teens do the same thing, I think I figured it out. Going to bed on time isn’t cool.  The later you stay up, the more sophisticated and adult you feel. They think they are going to miss something important.  One more gaming video on Youtube or another Snapchat conversation with a friend.  We live in a world of 24/7s. The internet never goes to bed, why should they?
The basic scientific truth is, teenagers need sleep and a lot of it.  They should get a solid eight or more hours a night per every sleep study I have read (and there have been plenty, trust me).  They need rest  to rejuvenate their minds and keep their immune systems healthy. To absorb information in school, so they can be a good student and a functioning, kind human being. To be able to handle the massive hormonal fluctuations during the wonder of puberty.  To navigate through the intense social pressure of teen life.  Sleep, I think, is the cure of all cures for their mood swings, performance and tolerance. If my teens got the sleep they need every night, my house would be a very harmonious environment.
I’ll be honest, I am a little scared of how they will treat sleep when they go off to college.  I have daydreams about all of the horrible scenarios that can occur if they are sleep deprived.  Missing important exams, being late for work, miscommunication with peers or professors. I see sleep deprivation affect my adult relationships so I know it can happen with my teens. I am trying to instill in them the utter and complete importance of sleep so when they are out in the big bad world solo, they can survive and thrive.  If I teach them now, if I am adamant about bedtime, I am hoping it sticks like glue to their memory banks.  Like all things, we parents just hope and pray that our teens absorb some of the things we try to press upon them before they leave the nest.
So, next time your teen fights going to bed, don’t let them win.  Stay strong and take the phone, the iPad, or the book. Sure, they will yell or give you grief, and return to toddler like behavior. But in the morning when they wake and are the wonderful, sweet kid you love and adore, pat yourself on the back …sleep my friends, always wins.
Elizabeth Knobel lives in Windsor and is the mother of two teens who give her inspiration everyday. She can reached at

el*********@ms*.com











.