Change. Some people love change, others are uncomfortable with it; some have change forced upon them, others choose change.
Recently I had this overwhelming feeling of a need to change something. When we were younger and I felt this way I’d rearrange the furniture. One year when we lived in an old farmhouse I put the bed in the living room. The room had windows all around so it was kind of cool until the neighbor who used our barn to store some of his large equipment drove down the driveway and looked right at us, still in bed. As my little cousin likes to say, “awkward.”
I thought about changing the furniture in our current house but everything is pretty much in the best spot. Finally, I thought, I can change my hair and glasses. I can look different.
I have been wearing a buzz-cut haircut for about 10 years. I like it because it is low maintenance. If I forgot to comb my hair, which was often, no one noticed because I had no hair. And, I have been wearing wire-rimmed glasses for even longer. So, I let my hair grow and grow. Then I went and got some new glasses; big, bold, black rimmed glasses. I sent a photo to one of my cousins. She said, “It makes you look like a character.”
It was such a shocking look to me I was afraid to wear the glasses. I looked like Mr. Peabody or Sherman or that TV ad showing a caricature of Drew Carey.
The night my new look was complete I was supposed to do a poetry reading at an art event. I debated whether to go on with my new glasses or not. I went with the new look. No one noticed.
I saw a bunch of my friends, I did another reading at a different locale, my wife and I had our usual Sunday brunch gathering and still no one noticed. Over the next three months I saw just about everyone I knew and not one person mentioned the new me.
I was puzzled. Do people not notice? Do we go about our daily lives unaware? Change the traffic pattern, and the whole town goes nuts. Alter the hours at a favorite restaurant and letters pour into the editor. But, change my personal appearance and nothing.
I tried to tell myself, well, my friends are the type of people who do not judge one by appearance, they only see the inner me. Yeah, that’s it.
This past year, from Puerto Rico to Sonoma County, lots of people were forced into change. We all know someone who lost everything. We feel for these people and lots of folks came forward with help. But a few months later there is a new normal and many of us are back into our routine.
I think change is only really noticed if it happens to alter one’s own life. But changes to others are less noticeable. It’s just human nature. We are all so wrapped up in day to day survival that our focus is very self-centered. This isn’t a criticism as much as simply an observation.
The other day I got a photo texted to me from my cousin. He was wearing new glasses. His text read. “I’ve joined the new glasses brigade.” He looked good. Then I tried to remember the type of glasses he wore before his new ones. I could not remember. If he hadn’t told me, I am sure the next time I saw him I would not have noticed.
Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 45 years. He can be reached through his website at: www.gabrielfraire.com.
