All of us parents out there know that driving in the car is sometimes a golden opportunity to exchange good conversation with our teenagers. It’s also a fabulous eavesdropping exercise if they are exchanging their own words or talking about something online or antics of mutual friends.
I don’t know why the car provides this kind of freewheeling open communication, but it does and I value it. I tend to learn a lot about their lives during these drives.
A few weeks ago I had my daughter and her best friend in the car with me driving back from a movie. They were both in the back seat and they were discussing a recent break up of a good friend and her boyfriend. There was no eavesdropping required this time though.
My daughter’s friend gave me all the juicy details about the outlandish hijinks that this “creep” of a young man put her friend through (Much of it being detailed on social media by the way). As we all agreed on horrible names and ways to make this boy suffer, I realized something. Dating is hard, and nothing has changed since I was doing it in the ‘90s.
A few days later I picked up a copy of a book called, “He’s Just Not That into You” for the two of them. Scoff and laugh as you may, but they actually paged through it together.
They sat on the couch and laughed and read and commented and giggled. The book provided them a funny way of trying to understand the relationship rules and how to wade through all the yucky, murky, blurred lines of dating these days. I think it may have helped.
Truth be told, the reason for the book was simple. I wanted to give them something palpable to rely on. Teens don’t like listening to their parents, let alone dating advice from us. But they need an outlet other than the internet for information on what constitutes a healthy relationship.
The relationship they described in the car was not a good one. It was abusive and cruel, and in no way loving. Thankfully they both realized this and recognized that their friend is better off a single lady.
The cool thing about this generation of young women is the power they hold to create change for themselves like never before. They can change the dating rules, they can recognize a bad relationship, they can learn what’s acceptable to them and they can start writing about their own dating journeys and making up their own rules.
So, here is to girl power and strength. Watch out world, because these young single ladies are fierce and strong. They have voices that are loud and clear and I can’t wait to hear what they have to say.
Elizabeth Knobel lives in Windsor and is the mother of two teens who give her inspiration everyday. She can reached at
el*********@ms*.com
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