My sister and nephew are in the throngs of his final college application process—the personal essay. This essay, they tell me, is a deal breaker. The 650 words have to wow the reader, impress them and bring them to tears. As my sister put it, “You have to look good on paper.”
They had hit a road block, hence their reason for calling me. Your good at this creative writing stuff Auntie E, come up with something, they both screeched through the phone. I told them I would mull it over, get my creative juices flowing and get back to them. Well, it has been three days and I still have come up with nothing.
I seem to have hit my own stumbling block. For this simple reason: no teenager can easily put on paper their biggest life-changing moment. This essay that follows every college application is silly, I think. Asking a teen to write something so crucial, under so much pressure is tough. A stranger, in an office will read their poignant words and judge in the first paragraph whether they think this teen is a good fit for their school. Of course test scores and GPA are part of the obvious package. But still, a difficult task.
I thought back to my own SAT, to my college application and my essay (to be honest, I don’t even remember writing one) and I can whole-heartedly say that I know for a fact that the pressure back then versus today is astronomically different. My two teens face very different challenges then I did, and I’m not so sure any of it matters.
Our world today seems so much more complicated. I keep circling back to the same question. Why? Why are our teenagers one of the most at-risk generations for anxiety and depression issues? It’s a very honest and important truth to ask ourselves as parents. Just from my own personal experiences, I know a handful or more teenagers who suffer from anxiety. I wish it were different, I really do. But I’m just one mom, navigating the system, trying to make a small difference, one step at a time, with my own family.
I may not have been able to help my nephew write his essay, but I know how hard that kid worked all through high school. He has gone above and beyond, and steered clear of drugs and alcohol. He has a good heart and a wicked sense of humor. Any college would be lucky to have him. This message is the same I will pass on to my own teens once the time comes. Being a cheerleader for your kid and their biggest advocate is what they need most. Nothing matters more than keeping them healthy and on track.
So any family and teen who is also going through this process, best of luck to you. What I have learned in the last few days is valuable. Every teen is smart and gifted and worthy of an education. The steps to get there are long and tedious. Worth it in the end? Absolutely.
Now that I have had this experience, I can start to prep my teens for the in-depth work the college choosing process is. I also now know what to expect as a parent. It’s a multi-step journey. When the bird leaves the nest we can only pray that they land in a fun, safe, challenging new place. We can only fly them so far. The rest is up to them, wings spread wide and strong.
Elizabeth Knobel lives in Windsor and is the mother of two teens who give her inspiration everyday. She can reached at [email protected].
