How many out there in the political wonk world would like to form a third party?
How many of you are sick and tired of being in danger of a collision due to folks riveted to their blue tube; engrossed in their speaker phone conversation; or actually looking at their cell phone instead of the road?
How many have lost patience visiting persons who have cell phones on, usually on their laps, ringing every other minute, with the owner’s attention lost into another world?
I have a new party for you! It is based on the original Luddites, “British weavers and textile workers who objected to the increased use of automated looms and knitting frames,” — History.com, by Evan Andrews.
Now these trained, skilled workers feared loss of jobs to machines in the 19th century. Just switch “machines” to “computers/robots” and we have the 21st century.
We face a similar situation now, folks. Even more worrisome, we are in danger of losing conversation as we know it. It isn’t news to anyone that speaking to one another ends when the phone begins.
I watched this progression at the farmers market develop over a number of Saturdays. There was a couple whose friendship was obviously forming into a loving, caring relationship. We all know the signs: looking at each other face to face; filling the other one’s needs as often as possible; preference to conversing with that one person.
It was heart warming and pleasant to watch unfold.
Then, a month or so later, I glanced over and the two of them were sitting at the same table, eyes cast down, totally ignoring one another in favor of their smart phones.
We could go on — meetings interrupted; teachers attempting to educate students whose highest goal is to check their cell phones. Even my sister is a captive to its continual messaging and ring. We were standing in quiet respect at a St. Raphael’s Church Memorial Mass while the casket was being rolled around the aisles, with the deceased’s family accompanying it, everyone tearing up, and just as they were beside us, my sister’s phone went off with a loud rendition of some jazzy Disney movie theme. Of course, the phone was in the bottom of her purse and it seemed like hours before the jolly tune stopped echoing through the solemn church.
So, here are some of the new Luddite Party planks:
You can bring your phone with you only as far as a permanent cord will reach. This will necessitate your buying an old 40s telephone that has a real dial and a cradle with an operator at the other end of the dial tone who says, “Number please?”
No cars will be allowed to travel on roads and freeways. There will be bicycles and tricycles for everyone who can pedal. For those who cannot, there will be Uber-type drivers with rickshaws. Designated walking lanes and equestrian paths will be provided.
Longer travel will be available by train, with real books on board and newspapers made from recycled paper.
Elections will be held every four years with campaigning limited to two weeks before the election. Candidates who violate the timeline will be eliminated from the race.
Legislators must attend in-person the meetings within the state and federal governments they represent and listen to one another’s arguments for or against the issues.
A simple majority of legislators’ votes carries the day, reflecting a true democratic government, rather than allowing tyranny of the minority.
Lastly, we need a better name for our new third party. The History.com information explained that the anti-Industrial Revolutionaries were named after Ned Ludd, a Robin Hood character, perhaps unreal, who lived in Sherwood Forest. The British government’s altercations with them occurred in 1811 and 1812 when the Luddites took to “wielding sledgehammers” to whack the machines threatening their livelihood. But modernity won the day and they were rounded up and sent to Australia.
In their spirit, It’s time for technophobes to gather, after unfettered advancement of electronics and machines for the past 210 years. We can call our new party the Luddocrats? Luddicans? Ludderals?
What say ye?
