Some of my best conversations with my kids happen in the car. It seems the forced family commute provides free thought and most times, silly topics. The latest came from my 11 year old. She said, “Mom, I wish I could trade places with you, just like in the Freaky Friday movie.” And I said, “That would be awesome! In fact, I would love to trade places with all of you for a day.”
This gave my two teenagers a laugh and I heard a few mumbled sarcastic comments. Along the lines of, “yah right Mom, you couldn’t handle a day in our life and you would get eaten alive in high school.” Been there, done that, I told them. But you two would never, ever, survive a day in the life of me. No mumbling on my part though. This I said loud and clear.
It’s funny how certain strings of conversation lead to bigger ones. All six of us have just come out of the woods and have slowly recouped from the horrible flu that is going around. During the last few weeks I have nursed everybody back to health. I endured sick days, brewed countless cups tea, made twice-daily meals and administered medicine, all the while being under the weather myself. No sick day for me, no day in bed, no quiet time. So, thank goodness I didn’t get it too badly.
What happens to me though, is I wrongly assume that my teenagers will return the kindness while I’m not at my best. They could brew me tea and bring me Advil right? They should notice that I’m looking kind of peakish and that I have run out energy. If I am on the couch sitting, it usually means something isn’t right. You would think, a 17 and 15 year old would recognize their poor sick mother in need of care. Sadly, not so much. My two are clueless, with the ability to only see their small screen world and not much else.
The reality of Momma pushing herself too much, is not pretty. Once I unleash the rage, it’s hard to tame it. I recall yelling something like, “Open you eyes! Take a 360-degree look around, not a 180, or a 50 or a 10. Get up, get off your phones, help out, help me.”
There were probably some not so nice words thrown in there too. It’s like, come on guys. You are old enough and capable enough to know when to assist and put your “adult pants” on. It’s really not that complicated.
So, I reverted to just being that Mom I don’t like being. The cold, annoyed version of myself that only happens in times of true anger at my teens. Again, it’s the dichotomy of either being on their level, or hoping and expecting that they can come to yours. This time they didn’t come through. Here is to hoping that the next time I need a little TLC, they will get it.
On a weird note though, when we are all sick we spend more time together. How funny is that? In the TV room, just vegging out, sneezing, talking, them napping. That time, I appreciate. And, in staying true to my personal motto, I try to look at finding something positive out of everything. Even if it’s the flu.
Here is to a healthier February, more car ride conversations, and hopefully, more aware teenagers.
Elizabeth Knobel lives in Windsor and is the mother of two teens who give her inspiration everyday. She can reached at
el*********@ms*.com
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