ASK DR. SHIROKO

It’s spring and this time of year seems to be a time when many
people – not just graduates – are thinking about what they want to
do with their lives. For someone fresh out of school possibilities
may seem to be endless, yet many people feel stuck with limited
choices, even at a young age. They need to generate a certain
amount of income, they have a family to please, they think their
dreams are impossible to get, or they spent a lot of money getting
a certain education.
I remember when I graduated from medical school, I felt as
though the whole world was in front of me and I could do anything I
wanted. My classmate standing nearby was lamenting at that same
moment that he felt completely stuck and had no more choices in his
life. He was married, had a child on the way and had just become a
doctor with a very defined job description. He felt doomed.
You might say this difference in perspective is purely a matter
of attitude, but it may also be what the man chose for himself. The
problem is figuring out if the life you’re creating is what you’ve
dreamt of. Often, we are a product of our family and societal
conditioning. Sorting through the maze of everyone’s expectations
is difficult. It is easier to focus on what we don’t like than dare
to follow our deepest inspiration.
I saw a young patient yesterday who told me that he had no idea
what he really wants in his life. So far, he has spent his time
avoiding being like his dad. The idea of actually creating what he
wanted was daunting to him.
In this troubling time of our economical shakiness, people are
having to recreate their lives in many ways. With so many people
I’ve seen lately, work and mortgages are creating a lot of physical
illness. How can you use the opportunity of difficult times to
create a life of magic and interest? Our country is the “land of
opportunity” but we often don’t see the opportunities as they
arise.
Last night I met a man who began a business based on his
experience helping his family when his mother-in-law died. He had
to organize the details of her estate, and he realized that many
people don’t know how to do that. He mentioned things like handling
PG&E or getting into the safety deposit box after someone dies.
Another woman I know began a business of helping older people
figure out their living situations after she had worked in nursing
homes for years and realized many people don’t want to be there. So
she started a business of providing alternatives to nursing
homes.
Quite often our new life is right there winking at us as we’re
struggling with the old. We fall into it when we open our eyes and
see that the little favors we’re doing for others are the way to
find our new jobs.
A Life Coach can help you figure things out. The book “The
Artist’s Way” can help you examine how you spend your time versus
how you’d like to spend your time. There are people who offer
classes to help explore options. The Internet is an excellent place
to explore and see what is available.
Whenever people tell me that it may be impossible to make money
doing exactly what they like, I point out that Howard Stern gets
paid millions of dollars a year to act like an adolescent boy on
the radio.
Dr. Shiroko Sokitch’s column appears monthly. She can be
reached at: dr*****@li***.net.