Made in Hawaii
Since I’m writing this on Kalapaki Beach, Kauai, while the wahines, kane and keikis sun on the sand and frolic in the surf, it is only fitting that I share my annotated list of “Films Made in Hawaii” (compiled with help from the Hawaii Film Board).
Hawaiian Honeymoon
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (R-2008) A befuddled male (Jason Siegel) heads to Hawaii to forget his girlfriend (Kristen Bell) and start life over again. But guess who is staying at the very same resort with her obnoxious fiance (Russell Brand)?
Action Adventure
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13-2011) Andy Serkis dons his dotted performance-capture suit to create Caesar, a rescued lab chimp raised by humans, and since apes and monkeys are stronger, faster, and even more violent than human beings, given the opportunities…
Jurassic Park (PG-13-1993) Steven Spielberg’s brilliant adaptation of Michael Crichton’s novel about cloned dinosaurs set a whole new level of prehistoric realism. If you visit the National Arboretum on Kauai, you can see the exact place where the dinosaurs roamed, laid their eggs and chased the humans for a snack.
Surfer Chicks
Soul Surfer (PG-13-2011) Bethany Hamilton (AnnaSophia Robb) is a rising star on the surfing circuit until a shark bites off her arm. Her life is saved through quick action by her dad and other surfers, but the prospect of “getting back on my board,” seemed slim. However…
Blue Crush (PG-13-2002) A hotel maid (Kate Bosworth), would rather be on her surfboard, so even a hunky professional football star (and his very messy teammates) are just distractions from her goal of winning the surf championship.
Island History
Princess Kaiulani (PG-13-2002) The story of the Hawaiian Princess who fights for the legacy of herself and her people against greedy Yankees is worthy of a good film. This attempt has lush scenery, and impeccable historic detail, but the film has little Mana and the lead actress does not provide the spiritual power the film needs. Of Peruvian and Swiss parents, Q’Orianka Kilcher was raised in Hawaii, and has the looks of the half Scot, half Royal Hawaiian Kailuani, and the moves of someone who knows the hula and Island chants by heart. But the role needs more.
Haoles
The Descendants (R-2011) With his wife in a coma, a melancholic George Clooney grapples with grief and anger and love and duty as the patriarch of a Hawaiian family. Yes, it’s a comedy.
Hereafter (PG-13-2011) A London school boy missing his dead brother, a vacationing French journalist caught in a tsunami (brilliantly shot on Hawaii), and a San Francisco construction worker cursed with the ability to commune with dead people, all manage to come together in the carefully orchestrated manner of director Clint Eastwood’s minimalism. The result is both brilliant and slow-paced, leaving the audience with few answers to death’s biggest questions.
Classic Films
South Pacific (NR-1958) Joshua Logan directs Rogers and Hammerstein’s musical version of James Mitchener’s short stories featuring interracial love, happy, betel-nut-chewing natives, opera singers, hula dancers and fun-loving US sailors on a lush tropical paradise. Sing along with Rossano Brazzi’s rendition of “Some Enchanted Evening” or Mitzi Gaynor’s “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair.”
Complete Bombs
Battleship (PG-13-2012) The Hasbro game involving inch-long plastic ships and nail-clipping-sized torpedoes shielded from your opponent by the board’s flip-up cover is the source of this film. The result is an invading space-aliens orgy of explosions, five or six lines of dialogue (usually from men who talk with their teeth clenched shut), and then another series of loud, louder, loudest explosions.
Journey 2 The Mysterious Island (PG-13-2011) “Vernians” are people who believe Jules Verne was writing travel diaries of real adventures. On The Mysterious Island, dinosaurs of normal size compete with insects of enormous proportions to either chase or assist the stranded humans (Dwayne Johnson, Michael Caine, et al). All in all, it’s truly an underwhelming Jurassic Park wannabe.
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